relationship

How to Play with Gender in BDSM

Most of us don’t realise just how much gender influences the way we play in BDSM. Whether we’re reinforcing traditional roles (masculine dominance, feminine submission) or flipping them entirely (femdom, feminisation, sissification), gender is woven into our desires in ways we might not even notice.
BDSM is one of the few spaces where we get to play with gender roles on our own terms—exploring power, submission, and self-expression in ways that might not feel possible in everyday life.

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Why Dominance is More Than Just Control

Dominance is often misunderstood. In pop culture, it is portrayed as something purely physical: whips, leather, and a towering presence that commands submission. But true dominance is not about shouting orders or wielding power over someone else. As BDSM expert and intimacy coach Shelby Devlin explains, dominance is a psychological art. It is about creating a container of trust, safety, and anticipation, allowing the submissive to let go and surrender fully.

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Babygirl – A Thought-Provoking Look at Kink, Shame, and Desire

Sharing sexual fantasies with your partner can feel like one of the most vulnerable conversations you’ll ever have. After all, these are deeply personal, intimate desires that you might not even have fully accepted yourself. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle to open up about them. But when done thoughtfully, sharing your fantasies can create a deeper connection, foster intimacy, and even make your relationship more fun and exciting.

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How to Tell Your Partner What You’re Really Into… (Even If It’s Super Scary)

Sharing sexual fantasies with your partner can feel like one of the most vulnerable conversations you’ll ever have. After all, these are deeply personal, intimate desires that you might not even have fully accepted yourself. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle to open up about them. But when done thoughtfully, sharing your fantasies can create a deeper connection, foster intimacy, and even make your relationship more fun and exciting.

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Are Open Relationships Less Committed?

One of the biggest misconceptions about open relationships is that they aren’t as committed as their monogamous counterparts. This is because people tend to confuse “commitment” and “monogamy.”

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Vetting Questions I’m Using in 2024

If you are wanting 2024 to be a year of exciting kinky experiences (come on gangbang 🤞🏻) it’s likely you might need to do some vetting. 

Personally, my vetting process could use an update! I did some research and found 10 questions I will be using this year to vet potential new play partners. (For the full list, listen to this week’s podcast)

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What is “kinky” anyway?

I recently learned a framework in my studies that really challenged the way I feel about kink, and what is considered to be “kinky.” This framework is called the 3 Dimensions of Sex, and it basically tells us that there are 3 distinct types of sex that humans enjoy. All of which are common, healthy and as normal as one another. The 3 dimensions are Partner Engagement, Trance and Roleplay.

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You’re so perfect, I’m so proud of you! (did I just turn you on?)

You are such a good girl / boy. Well done for clicking on this writing. I’m so proud of you for being curious, and wanting to learn more about this kink! 😛

Praise kink has been blowing up on TikTok lately… and before you roll your eyes, I actually think it is great whenever kink is being shared in a positive way on mainstream social media!

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Do you Find it Hard to say ‘no’?

I was asked this exact question recently, and it really got me thinking… Since being involved in BD$M I have gotten a lot better at communicating boundaries, but I still find it very difficult to say “no.”  There are so many valid reasons why this seemingly simple task is so difficult – it risks conflict, breaking connection, and hurting peoples feelings.

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Collar me, own me

Collars carry a lot of meaning within the BDSM community, and are extremely popular kinky items! So why is that? Why are so many people into the idea of being collared and ‘owned?’ Why are so many others into the idea of ‘owning’ someone else? Particularly if that person is a beloved partner?

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