Harley's Blog
How do I feel less shame about my fantasies?
Have you ever had a fantasy you couldn’t stop thinking about—but felt too embarrassed or ashamed to even admit it to yourself? If so, you’re not alone. Shame around sexual fantasies is incredibly common, thanks to societal taboos, fear of judgment, and the internalized belief that our fantasies say something negative about who we are.
4 Misconceptions About Women’s Sexuality (And What You’re Getting Wrong)
This week I’m challenging some common beliefs and misconceptions around woman’s sexually that I hear all the time. Let me know what you think!
For a deeper dive into these topics, check out episode #73 of my podcast Turns Out I’m Into it – available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Who Really Has the Problem? A Reflection on Shaming Teenage Sexuality.
Have you ever believed something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe as a kid, you were told you were “not sporty” or “a crybaby,” and you ended up carrying those labels with you throughout your life because that’s what you were taught to believe.
How Kink Showed Me I’m Strong Enough to Get a Tattoo
Have you ever believed something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe as a kid, you were told you were “not sporty” or “a crybaby,” and you ended up carrying those labels with you throughout your life because that’s what you were taught to believe.
I got to Experience my CNC Schoolgirl Fantasy! It was soooo hot!
Ok, so most of you have probably seen the photos by now… but I wanted to do a writing to share how it felt to explore middlespace for the first time. This roleplay went a fair bit deeper than what most people assume when they think of a “school girl” fantasy, so here is some of what I learned…
What Kind of Submissive Are You?
The term “submissive” is an umbrella that covers many different roles within kink. To help you navigate, I’ll outline some of the most common types of submissives, so you can see what resonates with you. This list is by no means exhaustive—kink is a vast and nuanced world, and your sexuality is as unique as you are. As you explore, pay attention to what excites you, what doesn’t appeal, and what piques your curiosity. These insights will guide you in discovering more about your sexuality and the types of play you might enjoy.
The Catharsis of CNC
When I posted photos of a recent CNC photoshoot on Fetlife last night, it felt like I was sharing a very intimate part of myself. It’s a side of me that very few people get to see, so it was surprisingly wholesome to share those photos and receive such supportive responses from my fellow Fetlifers. You guys are the best! 😊
Why anxiety makes you an expert in ignoring your boundaries…
I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries lately – in particular how I can better at protecting them.
The tricky thing about boundaries is they’re not usually fixed. They often move around depending on the context (how you’re feeling that day, who you’re playing with etc). An obvious example for me is, some days I’m totally up for being caned, and other days a cane is too much. That boundary changes regularly.
Is Anti-Drama Culture in Kink Doing Us Harm?
This week’s podcast was the hardest I’ve ever recorded. It’s easy to share the positive aspects of kink—the great experiences and the joys of exploration. What’s hard is sharing the negative experiences. It would have been much easier to keep this private, but my podcast is about sharing my kink journey openly and honestly. I can’t do that if I’m only highlighting the good parts.
