Vetting Questions I’m Using in 2024

If you are wanting 2024 to be a year of exciting kinky experiences (come on gangbang 🤞🏻) it’s likely you might need to do some vetting. 

Personally, my vetting process could use an update! I did some research and found 10 questions I will be using this year to vet potential new play partners. (For the full list, listen to this week’s podcast)

1. How long have you been practicing BDSM?

This question isn’t about shaming newbies (who doesn’t want to share in that frenzy energy?) It’s about learning where a persons experience level is at, so you can make allowances. For example, if a person is super new they might not know their limits yet. I also love this question because if someone is pretending to be experienced and they are clearly not – that’s a red flag 🚩

2. Is there anyone who would be hurt to find out you are talking / meeting with me?

No judgment, life is complicated. But for me personally I don’t want any of my kinky fun to be hurting anyone else. I think it’s great to be upfront about this from the beginning.

3. Do you have any current or previous play partners I could speak to?

I LOOOOVE this question! Outside of kink this would probably be a bit of a strange one to ask – “Hi, can I get a reference from your ex?” But in our kinky community it totally makes sense. If you are a safe person and have some experience in this scene, it’s likely you might have someone who can vouch for you. On the other hand, if you are a notorious douche bag, this might be a difficult request.

If you’d like to hear my top 10 vetting questions, check out the latest episode (episode #35) of my podcast Turns Out I’m Into It, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Each person’s vetting process will be very different, so feel free to cherry pick from my list, as well as come up with some questions of your own (and put them in the comments! 🙏🏻) Seriously, just google “vetting questions bdsm” and a heap of great examples will come up. Doing this work now could save you a whole bunch of headaches later on!

Play safe, and have fun!

Harley 🐰 xx

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