Embrace your true self through kink and connection.

Harely's Blog

Is Anti-Drama Culture in Kink Doing Us Harm?

This week’s podcast was the hardest I’ve ever recorded. It’s easy to share the positive aspects of kink—the great experiences and the joys of exploration. What’s hard is sharing the negative experiences. It would have been much easier to keep this private, but my podcast is about sharing my kink journey openly and honestly. I can’t do that if I’m only highlighting the good parts.

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Are Open Relationships Less Committed?

One of the biggest misconceptions about open relationships is that they aren’t as committed as their monogamous counterparts. This is because people tend to confuse “commitment” and “monogamy.”

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Vetting Questions I’m Using in 2024

If you are wanting 2024 to be a year of exciting kinky experiences (come on gangbang 🤞🏻) it’s likely you might need to do some vetting. 

Personally, my vetting process could use an update! I did some research and found 10 questions I will be using this year to vet potential new play partners. (For the full list, listen to this week’s podcast)

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My first water bondage scene! 💧

So last week I got tied up in ropes in my friend’s pool. I had my arms, wrists and legs tied, so I could not swim at all… the experience was amazing, but not at all what I expected! 

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What is “kinky” anyway?

I recently learned a framework in my studies that really challenged the way I feel about kink, and what is considered to be “kinky.” This framework is called the 3 Dimensions of Sex, and it basically tells us that there are 3 distinct types of sex that humans enjoy. All of which are common, healthy and as normal as one another. The 3 dimensions are Partner Engagement, Trance and Roleplay.

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You’re so perfect, I’m so proud of you! (did I just turn you on?)

You are such a good girl / boy. Well done for clicking on this writing. I’m so proud of you for being curious, and wanting to learn more about this kink! 😛

Praise kink has been blowing up on TikTok lately… and before you roll your eyes, I actually think it is great whenever kink is being shared in a positive way on mainstream social media!

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Sleep Play: the Gateway to CNC play?

What is Sleep Play? Well, sleep play is a kink where one person is asleep (or pretending to be asleep) while the other person engages in sexual activity with them. 

For some people, this sounds super creepy! But for others, there are lots of great reasons why sleep play can be a fantastic turn on! 🔥🔥🔥.

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Do you Find it Hard to say ‘no’?

I was asked this exact question recently, and it really got me thinking… Since being involved in BD$M I have gotten a lot better at communicating boundaries, but I still find it very difficult to say “no.”  There are so many valid reasons why this seemingly simple task is so difficult – it risks conflict, breaking connection, and hurting peoples feelings.

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Collar me, own me

Collars carry a lot of meaning within the BDSM community, and are extremely popular kinky items! So why is that? Why are so many people into the idea of being collared and ‘owned?’ Why are so many others into the idea of ‘owning’ someone else? Particularly if that person is a beloved partner?

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