‘Free use’ is a kink that’s been getting a fair bit of attention on TikTok lately – which is causing a lot of people to feel curious about what it means.
The best definition I could find, defines Free Use as:
“An arrangement between two consenting adults. One partner has the liberty to initiate sex without asking and without foreplay, whether the other partner is occupied, asleep, or what have you. Like most other kinks, how exactly this arrangement plays out will depend on the interests and boundaries of those participating.” (vice.com)
I like this definition, because it emphasises two important points. Firstly, that free use is a consensual arrangement, and secondly, that it can look different depending on each person’s individual interests and boundaries.
Like many other areas of BDSM, there are many different ways to play that fall under the ‘Free Use’ banner. It really depends on what kinds of feelings excite you the most about this kink.
Here is a list of just some of the desires people enjoy about free use.
#1 Casual
While Free use technically falls under the umbrella of CNC – that doesn’t mean it needs to be resistive. For some people, free use is about doing a mundane task like the washing, or playing a computer game, and having their partner have sex with them while they continue this activity.
#2 Naughtiness / Spontaneity
For some, the most thrilling aspect of free use is the ever present possibility of having sex, anywhere at any time – even if you are in a riskier situation like a restaurant, or at someone else’s house. Having your partner decide to have you halfway through shopping for groceries for example, can feel very naughty and exciting, especially if it means a spontaneous quickie in the back of the car!
#3 Objectification
For many submissives, a key part of the free use kink is the feeling of being used – as if you are a sexual object. To emphasise this feeling, you might enjoy having your face covered while being used – this creates a feeling of dehumanisation. Similarly, you might like to be used through a glory hole.
#4 Degradation
Building on the feelings of being objectified, some subs may also enjoy the feeling of being degraded as part of their free use scene. This could involve having something degrading written on their body, ie “slut” or “whore” or even “free use” itself.
#5 CNC
If it’s the consensual-non-consent aspect of free use that does it for you, then you may like to incorporate some resistance and / or restraints into your scene. Being tied up and used “against your will” can be an exhilarating experience, particularly when combined with degradation. For those wanting a more extreme experience, combine it with anonymity and / or group play.
#6 Anonymity
Something that can really amp up the feeling of being used, is to not know who it is that’s using you. A common form of anonymous play is using glory holes, where neither partner can see each other’s faces. Another option is for the sub to be tied up and blindfolded, so they cannot see who is using them. This is amplified again when combined with group play.
#7 Group Play
Probably the most extreme example of free use is when a submissive is free to be used by multiple partners. The sub may or may not enjoy being tied up / restrained while they are used by multiple partners. Obviously the specifics of the scene will be negotiated beforehand.
As with any form of kinky play, is it crucial to have extensive communication with all participants before engaging in any type of play. Free Use is often combined with objectification / CNC play where a submissive is being put in an incredibly vulnerable position, both physically and emotionally, so aftercare is a must!
Please take care of each other, and only play with those you feel safest with.
For a detailed discussion about Free Use, listen to episode #25 of my podcast Turns Out I’m Into It – available everywhere you listen to podcasts.
