What’s so Good About a Threesome?

Ever fantasized about a threesome? If so, you’re definitely not alone. 

For women, romantic culture teaches us that we are NOT into threesomes. We are supposed to want passionate, loving sex with one partner, and how dare you suggest anything otherwise!

It also teaches us that men are the ones with the threesome fantasy, and unless they like sleeping on the couch – that is something they should never bring up with a partner.

But did you know, the threesome fantasy is the most common sexual fantasy for both men and women? 

This is crazy when you think about how unique each person’s sexuality is. Rarely is any to do with what turns us on, so universal. So why is that? 

Turns out there are a lot of different reasons we fantasise about having multiple sexual partners at once, and they aren’t all as straightforward as you might think…

#1 More of what you’re attracted to

Ok so this one is kind of obvious. If you’re attracted to breasts, hips and soft curves, then having more of them at your disposal is going to intensify your arousal. Same goes if you’re attracted to masculine shoulders and hard cocks – more must be better!

#2 Being desired

Being the center of attention can make us feel sexy and fill us with confidence. There are many different ways to feel desired – you might enjoy having all of your needs fulfilled by your subservient concubines, or you may want to feel objectified by multiple dominant partners at the same time. 

#3 Compersion

This is a word coined by the Poly community. It means to enjoy seeing your partner with someone else. Society teaches us that this should make us feel jealous, but if you can get past those insecurities, seeing your partner being pleased by another person, or seeing your partner doing the pleasing, can feel incredibly sexy.  

#4 Takes the pressure off

There can be a lot of pressure to be a great fuck, and that can make it difficult to perform. A threesome can mean you can relax and enjoy yourself knowing your partner’s pleasure isn’t all your responsibility. 

#5 Exhibitionism

Some people (myself included) love to be watched. A threesome means there is another set of eyes in the room to enjoy the show!

These are just some of the many different things we can enjoy out of a threesome or threesome fantasy. While the desire for a threesome may be unusually common, the things each of us get out of it may still be as unique to us as the rest of our sexual identity!

If you’d like to hear a real-life account of my recent threesome experience, then listen to the latest episode of my podcast Turns Out I’m Into It – available anywhere you listen to podcasts.

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