Kinksters vs Swingers – A Night at the ‘Erotic Ball’

So it’s not quite what the Fairy Godmother had in mind, but I had a great night out at the Townsville Erotic Ball! This was a big event for our regional North Queensland community and brought in awesome humans from all over the state!

The Erotic Ball was technically a “Swinger” event and this brought up a lot of conversation around the potential division between “Swingers” and “Kinksters” so I thought this would be a great topic to write about this week.

Is there really a divide between these two groups? 🤔

When I first heard about this I thought it was silly. Swinging is basically a kink right? We are all sexually adventurous people, so what’s the difference?

After a little more thought, I started to realise that these are in fact two distinct communities with their own subcultures. There seems to be a lot of overlap between the two worlds and many people feel right at home in both. However, some people might identify strongly as either a Kinkster or a Swinger and may not necessarily feel they belong to both groups.

So let’s chat about the differences. These are just my thoughts. If you have more insights to add to this, please do so in the comments section. I would love to learn more!

To me, kink is about more than sex. Yes sex is a big part of it, but it’s not the point of it. Kink is about finding this part of yourself that you’ve had to repress your whole life due to stigma and shame, and then finally discovering a community of people who not only get that part of you, but who celebrate it! 🥳

It doesn’t matter what your kink is, whether it’s shibari, impact play, age play, CNC, (those are just some of mine). What matters is that you have found the thing that takes you to this incredible place in your mind – and everyone in the kink community gets that!

For me, kink seems more about the psychological than physical. Even if the play itself is physical, it’s about where that physical play takes you in your mind.

Do you guys agree?

On the other hand, Swinging seems much more focused on the physical. It is about the sex itself, and having the freedom to have lots of sexual experiences with lots of different people. (Swingers, do I have that right?) 🤔

I think it’s interesting that I don’t really identify as a Swinger, even though I feel being ENM is integral to my relationship and who I am as a person. I feel like I can really relate to Swingers and the desire for that lifestyle, but I feel more aligned with kinksters and the kink culture.

Isn’t that interesting? Does anyone else feel this way?

Anyway, I’m really curious to hear other peoples thoughts on this… Do you identify as a Kinkster or a Swinger, or both? Are these two different communities or do you see them as sub groups of the same thing? If you are a Swinger – tell me more about the swinger culture and what connects you most to that community!

Looking forward to a good chat about this!

Thanks for reading,
Harley 🐰 xox

P.S If you didn’t go to the Erotic Ball this year but are maybe curious about attending next year, then you will find all the details about my experience in this week’s episode of my podcast.

Listen on Spotify and Apple).

One Response

  1. You’ve pretty much nailed it for the definitions Harley. I like to swing with kink and have seen it many times at Saints & Sinners over the past 24 years or so.
    What I’ve learnt of the Kink community is that not many of them like to share sex with their kink play and will sometimes look down upon swingers but everyone has their preferences so I respect this boundary that Kinksters have.
    I’m glad I found you on Chaturbate today, you’re a lot of fun and really sweet. I hope to see much more of you.
    Damon_diggler at Fetlife

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