Not very long ago at all, my partner and I had never thought about exploring DDlg. In fact, we were honestly a little judgey about it, because like most people, we didn’t understand it and found it quite confronting (lol such noobs!).
A little while into our kink journey, the curiosity about DDlg started to reveal itself. We started by purchasing me a crotch button onsie, and quickly realised that every time I wear it, a childlike version of me wants to come out. My partner found that he wants to cuddle and take care of that “little girl.” So we’ve recently progressed into more DDlg play.
Tuesday night was the longest roleplay scene of any BDSM we’ve done together. Dressed in my onsie, my partner surprised me with a pacifier and sippy cup, and set me up on a blanket in front of the TV with my stuffed octopus Charlie, to do some colouring, and watch The Good Dinosaur.
It took me a little while to get into my “little” headspace after a day of adulting, and also, this kind of play is new for both of us, so it takes some getting comfortable with, but pretty soon I settled into it.
We watched the movie and coloured and he gave me cuddles during the scary bits (I’m realising I am super emotionally sensitive in this space). After a little while I got tired and he gave me cuddles on the couch until I fell asleep in his arms. Heaven!
At bedtime, he woke me up to take me to bed. We cuddled some more and things progressed into sex. This type of sex is super fun, and allows us to explore a different dynamic than we usually do (normally our sex is very rough, while this is playful and gentle.)
What I’d like to write about today is less about the sexual component and more about how this “little space” made me feel. I am someone who experiences severe anxiety which also causes me tics (compulsive movement) and chronic migraines, which I’ve been managing for the last few years.
Before we started playing, I already had the beginnings of a migraine, and had been experiencing tics and anxiety throughout the day – this typically gets worse in the evenings. What amazed me, was that while I was in this space, I experienced no headache pain, and my body was completely still. For someone who cannot stop moving – this is kind of a big deal!
But what surprised me the most was how quiet my mind was. Like most people with anxiety, my brain is a constant monologue of worries, planning and analysis. This night, my brain was quiet. Occasionally I would notice an “adult thought” pop into my head, but they always seemed distant and detached from me – as if those thoughts belonged to a different me, and I don’t have to worry about them.
This role play session lasted the entire evening until we fell asleep. The length of the session enabled me to get really deep inside this headspace and chill out. I enjoyed it a lot!
This type of play is very new to both of us, but I assume that other Littles might have similar experiences to this, and that this ‘escape-your-adult-brain’ feeling is one of the big attractions to DDlg in general?
I also wonder if while being in this childlike space, and getting loads of cuddles and affection from my amazing dom, it might also be nurturing parts of my younger-self psyche that might be needing some extra love? Could this kind of play actually help heal some of that? I don’t know…?
As always, the psychological depths that kink seems to reach always astounds me. It’s about sex, but it’s also so much more than sex. I am learning so much about myself on this journey.
I’d love to hear about other’s experiences if you are inclined to share.
Thanks for reading!
(Little) Harley Rabbit xox
(Originally posted to Fetlife)
