boundaries

Why I Still Share Naked Photos on Fetlife (And Why It’s Not Unprofessional)

Many people might consider the idea of a sexologist sharing erotic photos unprofessional. But I disagree.

In fact, this idea—that being sexual automatically disqualifies you from being taken seriously—is exactly what I’m here to challenge.

I’m both a sexologist and a kinkster. I’m on Fetlife, just like many of you. I don’t sit on a pedestal looking down on the community with a magnifying glass—I’m part of it. I’ve been where you are, I’m still figuring it out, and I share that openly.

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Rollercoasters Don’t Have Safewords

As a kink educator, and safety-conscious human, I have a tendency to laser-focus on boundaries. I want people to explore kink with joy and with care. I want folks to come out of their scenes feeling like glorious, well-fucked superheroes—not emotionally wrecked and googling “is this trauma?”

But sometimes, the desire to keep everyone safe can start getting in the way of the whole point. Especially when it comes to edge play.

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Do you Find it Hard to say ‘no’?

I was asked this exact question recently, and it really got me thinking… Since being involved in BD$M I have gotten a lot better at communicating boundaries, but I still find it very difficult to say “no.”  There are so many valid reasons why this seemingly simple task is so difficult – it risks conflict, breaking connection, and hurting peoples feelings.

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