Many people might consider the idea of a sexologist sharing erotic photos unprofessional. But I disagree.
In fact, this idea—that being sexual automatically disqualifies you from being taken seriously—is exactly what I’m here to challenge.
I’m both a sexologist and a kinkster. I’m on Fetlife, just like many of you. I don’t sit on a pedestal looking down on the community with a magnifying glass—I’m part of it. I’ve been where you are, I’m still figuring it out, and I share that openly. On my podcast Turns Out I’m Into It, my ethos has always been about sharing vulnerability, being real, and not pretending I have all the answers. And that’s what people connect with most. Sharing erotic photos on Fetlife is simply another way I participate in the culture I also coach people through.
The confidence I’ve gained from sharing sexual images of myself has been incredible. From the outside, it might be hard to understand—after all, we’ve been taught that women who show their boobs must be desperate for cash or attention. But that’s not what’s happening here. These photos are an expression of my sexuality, my confidence in my body (huge for me), and my exhibitionist kinks. Why should I be ashamed of that?
If I took them down out of fear of looking “unprofessional,” I’d be reinforcing the very culture of shame I’m here to dismantle.
Some coaches I admire have warned me that clients might find me on Fetlife and get confused about the boundary. As if seeing me topless in a photo means they can’t also understand I hold a professional role. But I have more faith in people than that. I believe most people are perfectly capable of understanding boundaries. Just because I share erotic photos in one context doesn’t mean I owe anyone erotic access in another. That’s actually pretty simple. And if a client does struggle with that distinction, then it’s an excellent starting point for our work together.
Most people would agree that women should be free to dress how they want. We’ve largely stopped blaming women for being assaulted because of what they wear, and recognised that responsibility lies with the person who chooses to cross a boundary. So why, then, do we still draw the line at a female nipple, posted on an age appropriate platform like Fetlife? To me, that hypocrisy shows how deeply shame around sexuality is still ingrained in our culture. My photos are one way I choose not to participate in that shame.
So no, sharing naked photos on Fetlife is not unprofessional. It’s me embodying my values. It’s me demonstrating that sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s me trusting my clients to respect my boundaries, just as I respect theirs. And it’s me setting an example that you can be credible, intelligent—and hot as hell. 🔥
Harley 🐰xox
