Harley's Blog
Why I Still Share Naked Photos on Fetlife (And Why It’s Not Unprofessional)
Many people might consider the idea of a sexologist sharing erotic photos unprofessional. But I disagree.
In fact, this idea—that being sexual automatically disqualifies you from being taken seriously—is exactly what I’m here to challenge.
I’m both a sexologist and a kinkster. I’m on Fetlife, just like many of you. I don’t sit on a pedestal looking down on the community with a magnifying glass—I’m part of it. I’ve been where you are, I’m still figuring it out, and I share that openly.
Rollercoasters Don’t Have Safewords
As a kink educator, and safety-conscious human, I have a tendency to laser-focus on boundaries. I want people to explore kink with joy and with care. I want folks to come out of their scenes feeling like glorious, well-fucked superheroes—not emotionally wrecked and googling “is this trauma?”
But sometimes, the desire to keep everyone safe can start getting in the way of the whole point. Especially when it comes to edge play.
So You’ve Got a Thing for Creepy Caregivers… Let’s Talk Dark Age Play
There’s a whole world of age play that goes way beyond tea parties and stuffies—one that dips into the spooky, the monstrous, and the deliciously dark. It’s called Dark Age Play, and while it’s definitely not for everyone, it’s a taboo kink that a lot of people are quietly, secretly, maybe-a-little-nervously curious about.
What Is ABDL? Common Age Play Questions Answered by DaddaG
DaddaG is a long-time member of the ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) community, a devoted caregiver, and the organiser behind KangaCon—Australia’s first age play convention. With over 20 years of experience, he’s become a beloved figure in the community, known for his nurturing presence, strong ethics, and deep passion for helping others feel safe, seen, and accepted.
Sensation Play: Erotic Mindfulness for Kinksters
When people think of kink, they often picture Dominance and submission (D/s), sadomasochism (S&M), or intense power exchanges. But kink is so much more than that.
One of the most underrated yet deeply immersive forms of kink is sensation play—a style of play that isn’t about power dynamics or roleplay but rather about getting lost in the physical experience itself.
How to Create Powerful Rope Scenes (at any Level!)
When people think of Shibari, they often picture intricate knots, suspensions, and beautiful patterns. But there is more to rope than the ties themselves. Creating unforgettable rope scenes isn’t just about technique—it’s about connection, intimacy, and attunement. The way you move, pause, and interact shapes the experience just as much as the rope itself.
How to Play with Gender in BDSM
Most of us don’t realise just how much gender influences the way we play in BDSM. Whether we’re reinforcing traditional roles (masculine dominance, feminine submission) or flipping them entirely (femdom, feminisation, sissification), gender is woven into our desires in ways we might not even notice.
BDSM is one of the few spaces where we get to play with gender roles on our own terms—exploring power, submission, and self-expression in ways that might not feel possible in everyday life.
Why Dominance is More Than Just Control
Dominance is often misunderstood. In pop culture, it is portrayed as something purely physical: whips, leather, and a towering presence that commands submission. But true dominance is not about shouting orders or wielding power over someone else. As BDSM expert and intimacy coach Shelby Devlin explains, dominance is a psychological art. It is about creating a container of trust, safety, and anticipation, allowing the submissive to let go and surrender fully.
Babygirl – A Thought-Provoking Look at Kink, Shame, and Desire
Sharing sexual fantasies with your partner can feel like one of the most vulnerable conversations you’ll ever have. After all, these are deeply personal, intimate desires that you might not even have fully accepted yourself. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle to open up about them. But when done thoughtfully, sharing your fantasies can create a deeper connection, foster intimacy, and even make your relationship more fun and exciting.